Dancing Through Life: How God Transformed Nicole’s Story

In this heartfelt episode, Nicole shares the incredible journey behind the creation of Twelve 12, a ministry born out of her own story of loss, faith, and transformation. From her days as a backup dancer for Justin Timberlake to navigating infertility, pregnancy loss, and the challenge of surrendering her own plans, Nicole opens up about how God led her to a new purpose: supporting women walking through similar struggles. She reflects on the power of getting quiet with the Lord, finding direction in unexpected places, and saying “yes” to a calling that brings light to heavy topics. 

Tune in for an inspiring conversation about trusting God’s timing and discovering purpose in every season.

Episode Highlights: 

• Nicole’s Story.
• How Twelve 12 began.

Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on Purpose Beyond Motherhood:

• Twelve 12 Ministries Website
• IG Handle: @twelve12ministries
• Facebook: @twelve12ministries
• Email: info@twelve12ministries.org 
• Visit the Twelve 12 Ministries Shop

This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.

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Transcript

Holly (00:00.373)
Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of The Purpose Beyond Motherhood. Today is a little different. Well, not really, but you know, today is a little extra special, I guess, because Nicole is going to share with us all of the things on the how, the when, the why that 1212 came about. So hey, Nicole.

Twelve 12 Ministries (00:01.154)
Ha

Twelve 12 Ministries (00:09.536)
Yes.

Twelve 12 Ministries (00:27.906)
Hey, Holly. I'm so excited to talk about this today.

Holly (00:32.285)
I am too. I'm excited to hear. We were talking and I was like, we've never really shared the full, how did this happen? So we thought that would be helpful.

Twelve 12 Ministries (00:39.99)
Yeah. Yes. man. Okay. 1212. Just rewinding a little bit. You know, I'm a, cause we've talked about this before about me being a backup dancer for Justin Timberlake. And so it's so interesting of how like I have gone from backup dancing into ministry and to leading a nonprofit. so.

Holly (00:54.473)
Yep, JT.

Holly (01:05.321)
dancing your way through life.

You

Twelve 12 Ministries (01:10.754)
Holly, I love you so much. Dancing my way through life. I know I'm trying to think what I really should, you know, kind of pull out. I sometimes like to talk about how my life has been a little bit about loss. You know, that's kind of been the theme of my life and my story. Just one, dancing for Justin and that all just like losing that and having to move home.

and be a quote unquote normal person from, you you're hanging out with celebrities and traveling the world and living the life. And then just going from, you know, trying to expand our family, you know, and loss in that way. And then just trying to start an organization and really having to lose what I want, you know, and die to my flesh and to...

Holly (01:58.218)
Yeah.

Holly (02:04.789)
Mm-hmm.

Twelve 12 Ministries (02:07.66)
pick up what God wants. so just, yeah, being a backup dancer was amazing. The Lord was so kind and just rescued my story and just plucked me out of the sex, drugs and rock and roll lifestyle. And I'm so grateful because who knows what my life would be like. And then two, I just was not living a life with the Lord.

and about the Lord. I was not about my father's business when I was living in Los Angeles. And so then came home and went back to my home dance studio and was teaching dance and doing choreography and then met my awesome husband. I thought I was going to be a Mavericks dancer and a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.

Holly (02:54.495)
I think I don't know if I knew that part, but that's amazing.

Twelve 12 Ministries (02:57.676)
But side note, I have too many tattoos and so I was like, how am I gonna cover all of these things up in those outfits? So yeah, so anyway, my trainer introduced me to Darren and we just were kinda like, you know, like, hey, what is this? I knew he was older, but had no idea how much older he was than me. And then just kinda hit it off and got married and.

Holly (03:02.357)
yeah, that's true.

Twelve 12 Ministries (03:23.552)
My sweet husband is just like so amazing. He's such a God-fearing man and just loves the Lord, loves to lead our family. I think the one thing, this is like a whole nother conversation. But when I get stuck in worldly things, you know, of just like finances or what are we doing with our life and vision, I'm just reminded like the most important thing that Darren, his legacy that he's leaving is a biblical foundation.

Holly (03:41.525)
Mm-hmm.

Holly (03:53.514)
Yes.

Twelve 12 Ministries (03:53.746)
for me and for Delaney. And so I love that. But Darren is an only child of an only child. And so when we got married, he's like, hey, our family's good. Like, no, we don't need kids. And I like to say I come from the Huxtables, but before the Cosby, all the drama. So we're the...

Holly (04:01.223)
shoot. Yeah.

Holly (04:12.48)
yeah, I hear that.

Twelve 12 Ministries (04:16.386)
You know, and so I have a younger brother and sister and just we had so much fun. I loved my sibling. mean, I love my sibling so much. don't not I do not not love them anymore. I love you guys. Yes, I still love them. But just having that camaraderie, you know, someone to walk alongside you, you know, in your life. And so I'm just like, we have to start a family. And Darren is like, I think we're good.

Holly (04:17.309)
I do.

Holly (04:26.303)
You still love them.

Twelve 12 Ministries (04:40.906)
You know, and so I don't know, the Lord just brought us together and we started trying and you know, after that year Mark, your doctor's like, Hey, come in, start to do all of these tests and things like that. And Darren is like, I'm not doing that. I was like, totally a toddler arms crossed. was very upset. I was very upset throwing tantrums and he just really looked at me and so kind and just said, Hey, let's just see what God wants to do.

Holly (04:49.173)
Mm-hmm.

Holly (04:54.697)
Okay, well.

Holly (04:59.733)
Totally a tub.

Twelve 12 Ministries (05:09.888)
Like, let's just see what the Lord wants to do and let's just wait on him. And I was like, fine. Literally that next month we got pregnant with Delaney, which was so awesome. Yeah, it was, it was so, so crazy. And so had Delaney, we had Delaney naturally. and she just is, she's our miracle girl. And, so she's probably, I don't know, two or three at this point. And I'm like, okay, my brother, they've all had one or two kids now. I'm like, Hey.

Holly (05:19.977)
That is crazy. That's amazing.

Holly (05:29.993)
Yeah.

Holly (05:40.181)
Mm-hmm.

Twelve 12 Ministries (05:40.234)
it's time for us to expand our family. And Darren's like, no, our family's complete. And I'm like, again, toddler, arms crossed, all the things. And a little while later, he comes back to me and he says, hey, the Lord has really impressed upon my heart that you should stop taking your pill. And instantly I'm like, yes, this is about, know, totally about me. I'm so excited. So get off the pill. And now it's months have gone by.

Holly (06:01.716)
Mm-hmm.

Twelve 12 Ministries (06:07.614)
Years are now going by, still not pregnant. I went temporarily insane, like just trying to take all the matters into my own hands. Supplements, surgeries, removing the toxins, eating clean, trying to, you know, lose weight and just all of the things. And I was about to go into another surgery and I just remember the Lord was really just like, hey, please stop.

Holly (06:16.201)
Yes.

Holly (06:20.565)
Mm.

Holly (06:36.255)
Mm-hmm.

Twelve 12 Ministries (06:36.502)
Like I need you to get quiet with me. And in that I was just like, okay, Lord, I'm like, I thought you're with me the whole time, you know? And he's like, no, I have not been. You've been operating in your own strength and on your own time and literally just impressed upon my heart in my quiet time of just that. He was not going to answer our prayer to expand our family.

Holly (06:46.569)
Yeah.

Holly (06:51.701)
Mm.

Twelve 12 Ministries (07:02.342)
But what he would do would allow me to steward a ministry and point women to him. And so that is really just where 1212 started. And I'm a creative and an entrepreneur. And so I'm just like, yes, you know, I've been wanting to work in ministry and, you know, I worked for a nonprofit a little bit. I was working at a church and I was like, yes, I get to do something for the Lord and almost like not even

Holly (07:07.408)
Mm. That's good.

Holly (07:15.381)
Mm-hmm.

Twelve 12 Ministries (07:32.394)
you know, out of this loss or whatever, but I just was excited to do, you know, just something for God. I'm sorry. I left out two quick things. Is that in, as we were trying, you know, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and we also experienced like a super early pregnancy loss. And I just, I was devastated. I was devastated in that. But just like how the Lord used that in

Holly (07:42.623)
No, you're good.

Twelve 12 Ministries (08:01.994)
sharing with Darren just that I was not my health needed, know, I just wasn't my healthiest and you know, I needed some sort of like medical intervention so I could be healthier and I can be the best Nicole that the Lord has. And so just again, in that, how can I support women walking through the same journey? Because I know that if I did not have the Lord, if I did not have community,

Holly (08:07.614)
Yes.

Holly (08:18.707)
Yes.

Holly (08:28.542)
Yes.

Twelve 12 Ministries (08:31.327)
I just, I would not have made it. would, I just would again, in that I just, that was hard. It's just hard. It's just hard to walk through this season, especially when you feel like that you're the only one, cause nobody wants to talk about it.

Holly (08:37.46)
Yeah.

Yes.

Holly (08:47.189)
Yes. And I think, well, how many years? Okay, so you stopped taking the pill. How many years did you try after that?

Twelve 12 Ministries (08:52.854)
Mm-hmm.

Twelve 12 Ministries (08:58.658)
I think it was a good four years or so.

Holly (09:00.72)
bless you, yeah.

and the Lord spoke to you at the end of the four years or in the midst of them. Okay. And you're like, well, great. This has been...

Twelve 12 Ministries (09:07.774)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, towards the end of that four years. Yes. This has been a time.

Holly (09:17.065)
But you were so faithful to listen. Okay, so this is what year would you say when he's like, hey, I'm expanding your family, but in a different way than you think. What year would you think that was? Okay, and then 12-12 began in.

Twelve 12 Ministries (09:26.742)
Yes, 2016.

Twelve 12 Ministries (09:31.234)
2017. Yes. I was like that was the Lord. But yeah, just I think in that. OK, I'm going to share a little bit of something random about me is that when when the Lord downloaded that just about the ministry and everything, I really didn't know what it looked like. And so I can't remember the show, but it was some like crime drama, something. And so.

Holly (09:32.757)
Look at you, timeline queen.

Twelve 12 Ministries (09:58.986)
I don't know if you watch those types of shows, but you know how the agents will put stuff on the on the board and they're like, yes, and they're doing all of the mapping. I literally told Darren, I said, I'm going to do mapping on the wall and I'm just going to put all of these things that I've been involved in because I've had so many random jobs, so many, you know, things. And I was like, all of this is going to equal what I'm doing. And Darren was like, Nicole, are you OK? Yes, I am OK.

Holly (10:01.759)
Yes, totally mapping. Yes.

Twelve 12 Ministries (10:26.242)
But then it was like I got quiet with the Lord and he just downloaded all the things. He was like, this is what it's called. It's based off of Romans 12 12. And the logo is a butterfly. I mean, all of these things just from a quiet time. Yes, from a quiet time and listening. And so I think that is a great reminder. Even as I repeat that is just that if we seek the Lord, like he has the answers for us, we just have to listen.

Holly (10:33.427)
Yes.

Holly (10:42.857)
Yes.

Holly (10:47.465)
Mm.

Holly (10:54.079)
Good. Yes.

Twelve 12 Ministries (10:56.576)
And B, our ears have to be open and our hearts have to be open to receive that.

Holly (11:02.633)
which is so hard, but it is so necessary. And I think you actually did that beautifully. I'm sure you didn't feel like you did, but listening to your story, like you definitely had your heart and your mind and your spirit open to receive what he was wanting to say. Proud of you.

Twelve 12 Ministries (11:04.138)
It is so hard.

Twelve 12 Ministries (11:21.71)
Thank you. Thank you. And then I mean, yeah, I, you know, I was excited again to do something for the Lord, but I was not that excited about the topic and the subject, you know, because it is so heavy. And I think now seven years later that yes, people are talking about it a little bit more. But even just seven years ago, people were not.

Holly (11:36.245)
It's a little heavy.

Holly (11:47.647)
Mm. No.

Twelve 12 Ministries (11:50.322)
not talking about it. And so to bring light of something that people, that so many women just felt shame and guilt with. And then, I mean, even talking with like my family or just, you know, being like, just to people like, hey, what are you doing now? And I'm like, I'm serving women walking through infertility and pregnancy laws. And people are like, okay. I know.

Holly (12:11.965)
Yeah. They're like, okay, bye.

Twelve 12 Ministries (12:17.706)
You know, and so that took some, think, just like, okay, this must be the Lord because I don't think that this would be something that I would want to do in my own flesh, you know, and want to bring light to something that is so heavy. But then again, like, okay, Lord, if this is what we're doing, you know, you have my yes.

Holly (12:31.348)
Yeah.

Holly (12:40.637)
Yeah, that I just had this picture of you in my head. I'm like, I know with your dance background, I and I know I jokingly said dancing through life, but I do think I do think the Lord knew like obviously he knew he's God. But just thinking about you in the context of how you have adapted with each each situation, like yes, you are a dancer that that kind of ended.

Twelve 12 Ministries (12:50.742)
Ha ha ha!

Holly (13:05.951)
but I think he gave you that skill set so that you really could know how to navigate and move through things that seem dark and heavy. I think he taught you, I don't know, did you ever do ballet? I have this picture of you in my head just beautifully dancing through all the things. I feel like he knew you could do it and you could weather the storm and keep going and make it look graceful where the rest of us would look like not graceful. I think he's...

Twelve 12 Ministries (13:13.666)
Holy.

Twelve 12 Ministries (13:18.154)
I did, yes.

Only...

Holly (13:35.988)
place that gifting within you to navigate it gracefully.

Twelve 12 Ministries (13:39.766)
What a beautiful picture. Thank you for sharing that.

Holly (13:41.907)
And also I want to see you dance ballet now. Thank you.

But yes.

Holly (13:49.759)
We'll have a swipe up for a video of Nicole doing ballet, nutcracker. I'm sorry. Okay. But I really did just have that visual. he like, you love the puzzle piece. I know you love the puzzle piece visual, but I think this is like a string within the puzzle piece, just like streaming through.

Twelve 12 Ministries (13:51.137)
I love you.

Twelve 12 Ministries (13:57.922)
Absolutely not.

Twelve 12 Ministries (14:02.16)
my goodness. Yeah, no, I love that. I think that's beautiful.

Yes. yeah.

Twelve 12 Ministries (14:13.536)
Yes. Thanks Holly. I think that's great. That has encouraged my heart today. I'm gonna be dancing. I'm gonna be dancing through like the house today is like when my family comes home they're gonna be like, what are you doing? I'm dancing through life.

Holly (14:15.828)
Yeah, girl.

Holly (14:20.213)
Good. I'm glad that's why we're here, right? Yes. You should. You're like, I got my point shoes out. Stand back. Okay. So 2017, when was your first refined event?

Twelve 12 Ministries (14:35.842)
2017. my goodness, 2018. I love that you brought this up. 2018. was in my home. Yes, and I think there were like three people there. Five, if you include Stephanie, and she brought a friend to play the guitar.

Holly (14:42.366)
Okay.

Holly (14:48.181)
seen pictures. Yes.

Ugh.

Holly (14:56.287)
Love her.

Twelve 12 Ministries (15:00.478)
Mm-hmm. Yes, it was so great. And then I think I shared a message about refined and being refined. Mm-hmm.

Holly (15:01.077)
I bet they did a great job.

Holly (15:10.089)
Yes. my goodness. And since then, how many refined events have we had? Do you know? Sorry to put you on the spot. you did send it to me. Hold. They can edit this out.

Twelve 12 Ministries (15:16.042)
my gosh, think I text, I know I was like, I feel like I text this to you the other day. Yeah. But Refined, yeah, Refined has been awesome. It's just been such a beautiful thing. And again, it's just like, you never know what the Lord wants to do with something if you open your hands.

Holly (15:34.909)
Amen. Okay, we've had 18 refines. 18.

Twelve 12 Ministries (15:37.61)
That's crazy. It's so crazy.

Crazy, you guys.

Holly (15:43.669)
So crazy. That is okay. And I met you in eight, 18 or 17. I got a butterfly box. It's probably 18.

Twelve 12 Ministries (15:50.4)
Was it? Yeah, maybe 18 or

Yes. Mm-hmm. Because I met your sweet mom at a ministry event. I love her. Shout out to Christy Penn.

Holly (16:00.863)
Yes, my gosh, she loves you too. Woohoo. Okay, wow, 18 refines, started in your home, dancing through life.

Twelve 12 Ministries (16:14.786)
dancing through life. Yes, yep, and ministry.

Holly (16:17.051)
and ministry because I do think that being working alone is difficult. I think you throw in like the juncture of Jesus and business and trying to just minister to people while still being able to function from the financial side. It's a lot and it's hard to juggle and it's hard to just step into and be like, I'll give it a try. But you have done it and done it well.

Twelve 12 Ministries (16:35.554)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

You are so kind. Thank you, Holly. Because when you especially when you just said all of that, I was like, my gosh, how did I even do that?

Holly (16:44.213)
Yes.

Holly (16:49.013)
Like truly I would have been like this is a good idea and then ADD me would be like someone else will do it Which actually side note when I met you I think I told you or when we first started talking I was like I want to do a Bible study with all the women in the Bible 1212 did it Hope stories she had already done it. So the Lord is like Holly's taking too long Nicole

Twelve 12 Ministries (17:08.894)
stories.

Lord, Jesus, you're amazing. Yeah, he knew. Yes, he knew. I don't know. think, yeah, just maybe one other point is just, I think if God calls you to something, like to confidently step into that, because Holly, as you were kind of sharing those things, I just remember just serving women, you know, because essentially it started with just me meeting one on one.

Holly (17:17.821)
T-Nail, T-Nail.

Holly (17:22.633)
Okay.

Holly (17:31.839)
Mmm.

Twelve 12 Ministries (17:44.492)
people, you know, and like I made a random gift box and we would, I would treat them to coffee and just hear their story. But I would hear stories that were not like mine at all. You know, someone who had lost a baby at 20 weeks or maybe had a stillbirth or had six miscarriages. And I'm just like, I can't serve these women. Like my story is not like that.

Holly (17:45.183)
Yes.

Holly (18:00.478)
Yeah.

Twelve 12 Ministries (18:09.44)
you know, but then just still being like, okay, Lord, you have to take over because I don't know what to say or what to do and how to serve. And so just still showing up anyway for that person that needs you.

Holly (18:18.047)
Yes.

Holly (18:22.549)
That's very good. That's such a good reminder. I love so many things you said, but I just think the thread through this whole conversation is just submission and obedience, even when it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. And then whipping out your dancing shoes.

Twelve 12 Ministries (18:33.983)
Yes.

Twelve 12 Ministries (18:39.04)
Hahaha

Holly (18:42.047)
and hold it on for dear life, because that's kind of what it feels like.

Twelve 12 Ministries (18:44.151)
and holding on for dear life, right? Yeah, and so seven, we turned seven this year and just like excited to see what God is going to do for the rest of the years to come. I want this thing to outlive me because it's needed, it's needed and you know, I can't remember the quote, I'm gonna completely botch this.

Holly (18:52.821)
That's right.

Holly (18:58.751)
Yes.

Holly (19:02.559)
Yes, it is needed.

Twelve 12 Ministries (19:10.934)
But it's something about we over, we underestimate what we can do in like five years or a lifetime that we, wait, over? No, I can't remember. Yeah, we underestimate what we can do in years to come, but we overestimate what we can do in like a month or something like that. And so thinking like, okay, we don't have to do everything right now, you know, and just.

Holly (19:21.939)
Underestimate.

Holly (19:30.901)
Hmm. Okay.

Holly (19:36.447)
That's good.

Twelve 12 Ministries (19:38.754)
where has God called us to be? Where does God want us to serve these wonderful women and now men and couples? But hey, who knows what God wants to do in 12 years, 20 years, 30 years.

Holly (19:39.871)
you

Holly (19:51.871)
Yes, I think the world is our oyster, so to speak, but I also feel like it's just become such a more common. I feel like I talk to at least one person a day that's like been affected by it in some way, or I'll just meet random people that like, don't know where and they're like, yeah, I did that. Or the amount of friends I have that have had to navigate IVF and fertility miscarriages, still births. I mean, it's.

Twelve 12 Ministries (19:56.192)
hahahaha

Twelve 12 Ministries (20:03.682)
Mm-hmm.

Twelve 12 Ministries (20:11.094)
Mm-hmm.

Holly (20:20.976)
It is insane. And I think there is just such a need for this ministry. So I'm so proud of you.

Twelve 12 Ministries (20:27.66)
Thank you, Holly. Grateful for you. I'm so thankful for our partnership.

Holly (20:29.109)
I'm here with ya. Yeah, girl.

Same, same. Am I closing us? Because we didn't. Just so you know, every time I'm supposed to close, I miss it. I miss it. Maybe you should do it. I'm gonna let you.

Twelve 12 Ministries (20:36.897)
Ha

Twelve 12 Ministries (20:43.884)
Sure, yeah, if you wanna close this. Okay, you guys, thanks for listening to the podcast. Thanks for listening just about a piece of my story and how 1212 got started. We are here to serve you. So if you need anything at all, please just reach out to us. And also if something that we said today or that you've heard on the podcast that has really encouraged you, please share that with a friend or also.

Holly (20:53.01)
Uh-huh.

Holly (20:58.153)
Yes.

Twelve 12 Ministries (21:10.754)
you can donate to 1212 Ministries. We are a 501c3. We would love, love, love to partner with you because God is doing something so special within our organization, our leaders and the women that we serve and we want you to be a part of it. So if you want to donate, check out the link in the show notes and we'll see you next week, you guys.

Holly (21:14.921)
Yeah.

Holly (21:33.577)
Woohoo! See ya!