The Couch Therapy With Emily Morehead

Emily Morehead is a psychotherapist, co-owner of the Couch Therapy speaker and mother. She has experience walking alongside individuals navigating infertility, adoption, parenthood, postpartum support, grief and loss, trauma, couples counseling, boundaries, estrangement, relationship patterns stemming from childhood as well as general life difficulties.

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Connect with Emily

thecouchtherapy.org

emily@thecouchtherapy.org

Instagram: @the_couch_therapy

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Transcript

Nicole Clark : 0:27

Hey, what's up everyone, welcome to shining light with Nicole, where we are keeping your 24 Golden. I'm Nicole, and on today's episode we are on the couch with Emily Morehead. Welcome to season two. Emily. Hi, welcome to the podcast.

Emily Morehead : 0:48

Hi, Nicole. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited.

Nicole Clark : 0:52

Me too. I just appreciate you taking time out just to chat with us today. And, and this is just I think this is pretty cool. You guys because Emily and I we actually just met like literally we just met

Emily Morehead : 1:06

and we're new besties.

Nicole Clark : 1:08

Yes. And after our first conversation, I could just tell that Emily, you are just super passionate about your work and people and helping others. And so of course, you know, I just had to jump at the chance of just Sharing today, you know, with you just sharing with us today and so thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Emily Morehead : 1:28

Absolutely. I'm so glad to be on. I instantly felt just this beautiful positive energy about you and any opportunity that continue conversations with you. I was jumping on.

Nicole Clark : 1:41

That is so cool. I love it. So on today's episode, we are just talking about being on the couch, which is aka dis counseling, and to be super transparent. I am a huge fan of counseling. I have a counselor, and you know, actually several times throughout my life, I have sat down with a counselor. So I am super excited today, you know, because I know some people are on the fence. You know, some people just want to keep what they're going through just to themselves. And it can just be such a freeing moment to just to one have someone in your life and to just to be able to get those feelings, emotions and all the things out, you know, because life is challenging. And it presents us with decisions that are not easy to make on our own. You know, we we've got to pray, you know about just such a situation and read God's word for guidance. But you know, but we could still be confused and uncertain about the direction we should take, you know, and these times it can be helpful to seek the advice of other wise people, and even just taking it a step further, just to see a counselor. And Emily, just yeah, and throughout Proverbs, we read about the value of seeking and heating, white wise counsel, and instruction. So I'm just going to read a couple Bible verses and then we're going to jump in, I'm going to get out of the way and just let you do your thing.

Emily Morehead : 3:09

I'm excited to hear what you have to read.

Nicole Clark : 3:13

So proverbs 1114 says without guidance that people will fall, but with many counselors, there is deliverance. Proverbs 1215 of fools way is right in his own eyes, but whoever listens to counsel is wise. And lastly, Proverbs 1920 through 21. Listen to counsel and receive instruction, so that you may be wise later in life. Many plans are in a person's heart, but the Lord's decree will prevail. Emily, I would love for you to just start off just telling us a little bit about you and your family and just all the things you do.

Emily Morehead : 3:55

Yeah, so I am Emily Morehead. I am a licensed professional counselor in the state of Texas. So I'm a psycho therapist, and I love people. And, and I'm lucky to to live with some wonderful people in my family. And so we have a husband, who was actually my high school sweetheart. So sweet get more TV than that. My husband's name is Braden. And then we have two little boys and Winston and Baker. So our house is busy and loud and full of boys. And it's, it's really, really fun. I'm an entrepreneurial therapist. So I've, I've just started, I'm kind of following my dream to create a private practice. And that's been a really fun process. And I've learned a lot about myself through that process, which has been really, really cool.

Nicole Clark : 4:52

is great in the boys names. Those are so cute.

Emily Morehead : 4:57

Thank you, thank you, and they actually perfectly fit their personalities. I think, you know, when we think about baby names, we're like, oh, man, you know, will this fit my child and they are Baker and Winston. They are.

Nicole Clark : 5:15

And Emily, so at Twelve 12 Ministries, we just love to connect by sharing stories. So do you mind just sharing a little bit, you know, just about your journey and story, you know, on infertility,

Emily Morehead : 5:28

I would be honored and I have it's it's actually been just such a winding road and I get just chills having the privilege to share my story because the women that came before me shared there's, and that's how I'm brave enough to share mine. Um, I, you know, married my high school sweetheart, we wanted to get through grad school, you know, we had our life planned out, right? Like this trajectory, like, first we'll go to grad school and we'll graduate, we'll buy a house, we'll, you know, do all these things. And, and then when it came time to become parents, hopefully, we just were kind of met at a block. And so a little backstory, I have worked for the Gladney center for adoption for several years. And in one of my jobs there has been walking families through the process of home studies. So very early Early on in my career, I understood the infertility world, just by listening to these stories of these couples who had journeyed to become parenthood and when I say journey, I mean grief and loss and brokenness, but also so much hope. And so, I was very professionally familiar with infertility. My father in law's actually an OB Gen, like, this is just kind of our background things that I knew and understood. And through my counseling program, had worked with a couple of clients who had experienced infertility and so I knew it, I just hadn't lived it. And that was such a different road once we started living in it. Um, I was kind of the patient that all the OB Jen said was so lucky, I didn't have a period and didn't have a period for I it was like six to seven years. It was really weird. But I was on birth control and so everyone, you know, kind of said that, that could just be Be that I was super lucky, and no active concerns about it when I got off birth control, no period. And so really quickly, I just kind of heard responses that were pretty dismissive from doctors. But because I knew, you know, infertility history and people I wanted, I wanted more answers. I actually went and saw a midwife and, and she was the first person that I felt like really listened to me, shout out Lindsey Griffith, and she's wonderful, wonderful woman and she had an infertility journey. So I was so lucky to have her as my advocate. And I feel like she heard me in a different way than anyone had. And so we started exploring some things and nothing really seemed to work and so I got a referral to an OB Jen. And I don't know if they had a bad day or what happened, but I just had this bad feeling going into this appointment, so I asked my husband to go with me He is a very logical human and I am very emotional human. And he kind of just brushed it off as like sure I'll be there to support you but everything's probably fine. And and the OB Jen, who I'd never met before, had looked at my bloodwork before it came to the appointment, walked in and said can I bring in a student your case is very interesting, which like, okay, red flag, um, and she sat down and basically said that I had primary ovarian, primary ovarian insufficiency, poi and, and so I and she basically just looked at me and as a matter of fact, if she could said you will never biologically have children unless you have an egg donor. It was the harshest bedside manner I had ever received. Listen, giving anyone that news is not going to go well. And that's hard, hard, hard, hard, hard news to receive, but she basically said so if you want an egg donor, I can You know, send you over to a reproductive doctor, but if not, you know, you're gonna have to explore some other options to having a family. And that was kind of, um, I cried for days. And it was just the worst and was the worst news and it was news that didn't have a lot of like information attached. So I had to do my own research and that was okay for me. But it was really scary because I didn't really have a lot of hope message in that experience. And so with my father in law's guidance over the next few months, he kind of pushed me to learn more from a doctor. And to get off Dr. Google. I think everyone who's misunderstand that moment.

Nicole Clark : 10:12

I did that for sure.

Emily Morehead : 10:14

Yes, like Dr. Google is the worst and the best. So I did proceed to proceed with getting some more information. meishan and, and felt really empowered by those experiences and, and have a case that's just a little bit unusual. I was able to get pregnant through an IEP. And my doctor called it a hail mary. He just wanted to try it, and several rounds of field medicine and in several field rounds of just kind of treatments that are first and I you I actually worked and he didn't think it would, but he just wanted us to try it before we move to IVF and it it happened. It was mind blowing, and terrifying because it wasn't something that we expected and it was this vulnerability that I wasn't ready for. Because now I really wanted you know, I was really scared something would happen to this baby. And I really really really wanted to carry you know this baby to full term um That sweet baby is my two and a half year old down the home Winston. And we had a lot of complications in my pregnancy with him. But because of infertility, I really learned how to be an advocate for myself. Because about a year of having to advocate and fight the system and ask questions and seek further answers to people who had compassion, I really learned how to advocate for him as a high risk pregnancy. And so that has been a really interesting journey and motherhood of just starting the process, knowing that you have to fight for your child. And so it's been a crazy journey and but through that journey, I was involved in a support group and really was able to walk alongside other moms to you just like me weren't given a lot of hope. And together we were able to support each other through hope and advocacy. So, when I learned about your group, I was so excited to get plugged in because a group like yours saved me during that journey, and taught me how to advocate. And so it was really cool to, to learn about what you're doing, because it needs to be done. And because this is not the only building is not easy, and the world pretends like it.

Nicole Clark : 12:46

So true, thank you for sharing that with us. You know, the thing that just kept coming to mind was just hope, you know, and he said that, you know, just, you had hope you persevered. And then just through that, you know, you're sharing hope with others. So please tell us just more about the couch.

Emily Morehead : 13:04

Yeah, so I am after walking my journey of infertility, and just, you know, like you, I have sat on many couches of therapists, and I've been actively pursuing counseling on and off for about seven years. Yours and we absolutely did counseling during our infertility journey. Basically, as soon as I found out we were struggling, I call the counselor because I knew that men and women processed infertility, so much different. And I wanted to make sure our marriage stayed strong because man infertility is hard on a marriage. And so, you know, we I knew we needed some more tools in our toolbox to get through it, we were fine. But I knew we were going to need some tools to keep us there. And so when I kind of had the opportunity to begin dreaming for my family, what my service in the community looks like it really was women and families. And I have had a significant grief journey in my life. I've had infertility grief, I've had infertility process. And so for me specializing with women who are experiencing infertility or grief or loss or you know, just walking life, I don't want anyone to feel alone. And so my, my co owner and I just decided like what is a safe place for women that we can cultivate in our community. And that's how we came to the couch. So the couch is a counseling center. And we offer an individual counseling. We're going to have group counseling, and also just educational sessions. And so bringing hope and awareness to women that they aren't alone was what we really wanted people to hear. And, and that you know, that there isn't a journey that they have to walk alone, that they're all welcome there. And that is a therapist holding space for somebody. And that moment is the biggest gift that I could give them. So it's been really cool to have the opportunity to dream it up.

Nicole Clark : 15:12

So, so great. I just love that I love your heart. It is so awesome. I'm just so thankful that we were able To get connected in just so excited just for our 1212 community to get plugged into you, and just all the hope that you're going to share. That's so awesome. Emily, when when should someone like just take the next step and seek out counseling? You know, because there I'm sure there's so many times where we're just like, we, you know, are talking to our mom, our husband, our you know, and we're just carrying just heavy burdens.

Emily Morehead : 15:50

So what's really interesting is when I started grad school, I decided I wanted to be a therapist, and our professor said, You can't be a therapist until you sit on the other side of the couch. And I thought, okay, but like my life has been relatively easy. So sure, I'll go do the successions that you're requiring, but it's fine. I don't really need help. I kind of had a I don't know just a bad taste in my mouth for myself actually needing counseling, right, just arrogance. And I went to my intake session, which is basically Where you kind of like talk about your history and your family and like, just kind of what your needs are at that point for support. And I went and ended up like crying 15 minutes in and left with just this, like, oh, man, this is good. Like, this is good. This is just this, the space where I can share and so I would just say that you do not have to be broken to need therapy. And I think that's what the world tells us is that if you're seeing a counselor like, Oh, you've got this big trauma or like, oh man, like you're just mentally unstable. That is not what it is. The majority of women that walk through our doors are just living life. And they just need someone to hold space for them or whatever emotion they're feeling. When we talk to our mom or husband or a best friend. They have a bias, but to sit in a room with someone who is completely neutral, and just wants to hold whatever feelings you bring. Like that is a gift To experience that, and anyone who has experienced that, with the right therapist typically does have that experience of just clarity and safety and security. And so if you're needing that, that's when you should reach out and seek counseling and drop those, you know, stigmas that we've created in our minds and just accept that everybody has stuff.

Nicole Clark : 17:45

That's good. Emily, what are your recommendations of just, you know, choosing and selecting the right, you know, therapist or counselor?

Emily Morehead : 17:55

Yeah, so I would just say that a therapist or a doctor, anybody in your life, it's a personality, you need to feel safe with them bringing whatever it is that you're bringing. So I recently broke up with my kiddos pediatrician, because, I mean, it was like a legitimate breakup. It was awkward. It didn't know what to say like it literally felt like my dating years, but it really was like I just don't feel safe seen heard or valued in the visits when I'm bringing concerns to you. And like, yes, they were silly concerns, but like I just needed someone to validate it. And so I think that, first off, you should probably seek out someone that'll do a consultation with you. So you can talk on the phone with them and kind of figure out if your personalities match. And I specifically picked my partner and at the couch, the CO owner, and with me, Monique, because she has a completely opposite personality of me. So when someone calls us there's going to be a right therapist for one of them because we have different personalities and different ways that we view the world. And I think that you should also just look for availability. So do you need someone that can see you on a Saturday or evening and what works for your schedule because you don't need therapy and getting to therapy to be stressful. You have enough stress in your life. And then I would just say, you know, someone that understands, you know, what you're going through, so if they've never walked with a couple who's adopted, that therapist probably isn't To be the best fit for you. And if they've never, you know, seen someone who has infertility, well, they don't quite understand your medical cycle. And they don't quite understand how those meds are going to throw off your hormones. And so looking for specialties based off what you're needing, I think is really, really important.

Nicole Clark : 19:40

Great info. Emily, I'd love for you just to take a moment and just talk to that person who is hurting and they just really need someone to talk with, you know, but they have just that, you know, assumption about therapy.

Emily Morehead : 19:55

I am honored for that question, because I think that it's a lot of us, right, like, doing life can feel so lonely when we have an expectation on what life's supposed to look like. And so I think just acknowledging that life is hard, and no one's getting through this in an easy way. helps you feel like you're not alone. And I think that If you're on the fence about counseling, you should know that most people are. And that's not an abnormal experience. But if you're struggling alone, it's going to be harder. And so finding someone that can pour into you and remind you, that you are worthy, seen and precious, and that you can fight through whatever you're fighting through, I think is a valuable, valuable gift that you can give yourself. And it's the first step to taking care of yourself. It's a holistic picture. And so really thinking about what you need, and how you need to be seen as you're, as you're starting this process. It's beautiful. Emily, thank you so much. Yes, I'm just great. I'm honored for this space. And I'm honored that we can bring together awareness about just normalizing the stigmas of counseling and just normalizing that there is a level of loneliness and infertility. And that support groups like yours creates space for vulnerability and that is what can help us through the hardest moments of our lives in the trenches. So true. Please tell everyone like where can they find you online and your socials? Yes, so we have an Instagram account. And we have it's called the underscore couch underscore therapy. And then our website is the couch therapy.org. And that is an easy way to make an appointment with us to schedule a free consultation to learn about what therapy could look like for you. And Instagram is just kind of a spot that I've just used to be vulnerable about our journey as entrepreneurial therapist, our journey about just being women today. So we would love for you to follow us and we'd love to follow back.

Nicole Clark : 22:15

I will absolutely put all of that info in the show notes and I have your final two because this is part two is all about Matthew 516, and letting our light shine for the Lord. And I just truly believe that God uses our story to change the world. And so how did your puzzle pieces lead you to where you are today?

Emily Morehead : 22:36

So I think when I started to embrace what vulnerability was, Berene Brown is one of my favorite people to follow if you don't follow Yes. Um, Bernie brown taught me about what vulnerability was. And it basically is that when I asked for help, and when I lean into what I'm feeling, I feel like I can walk stronger. And so I think really the journey of understanding my story, my entire life, putting those pieces together has really led me to being able to hold space for other people. Because I do the work that I do to take care of myself. I can take care of other people. And I think that's all of us. Especially you Your support group, I'm sure, you know, when we're holding space for people who are grieving, we have to understand our own story. So I really think digging into my own work and my own trenches has led me hold that space.

Nicole Clark : 23:34

Yes. And I just again, I know, we haven't known each other that long, but I can already see interest, like, because you just shine so bright, and you don't hide your light for the kingdom. You know? So Have you always been that way? And what can you share with us to encourage us?

Emily Morehead : 23:51

I mean, absolutely not. always been that way. And I will not always be that way. Right? Like we have these peaks and valleys in our life, where it's hard. And so I think by taking care of ourselves, we're able to shine bright, but when we're not taking care of ourselves, we can't. And so, when I'm taking care of myself, I'm doing a good job shining. And when I'm not, I'm not, it's dimmer. And so I think just that holistic self care. And when I say self care I don't mean like getting your nails done, which is super fun. But like physically taking care of ourselves holistically, I think is, is the key to shining bright. Or at least it is for me.

Nicole Clark : 24:35

Yes, Emily, thank you so much. Appreciate you.

Emily Morehead : 24:39

Thank you so much for having me. It's just been a joy. I cannot wait to hug your neck and have a cup of coffee.

Nicole Clark : 24:51

Thanks for tuning in. To learn more about shining light with Nicole or to get involved with 1212 ministries, visit Twelve 12 Ministries.org. Now go out and let your light shine for the kingdom. And remember, you shine so that others can see you being you and they can keep your 24 golden and I'll see you next week.